Saturday 30th May, possibly the worst day this year.
It began in the morning, was going fine, got on the bus, got to work on time, and no trouble. 1 hour later we had police dogs sniffing at our stuff out the back and a drunk maori trying to attack us. It gets worse, trust me. I was lifting cartons of beer and confectionary, about the only thing that sells the most here at Supervalue. When, my heart started to ache, and started to hurt more a more. I fell down, along with the boxes of crap, and could’nt breathe. My body started to hurt from it all, and thus I was dragged into the staffroom and an ambulance was called. well, it had cleared up by the time the ambulance had arrived and they could not figure it out. Though my heart still hurts on the odd occasion up until now. I was hurled abuse by customers all day long and from my parents when I said I could’nt make it to see my extended family for dinner. My plans fell apart in the end. I became very stressed, finding myself hitting wooden posts in the store room. Then I snapped, at everyone around me. Everything went through my head that night, and so did 40+ cigarettes. I went and bussed to town, to walk it off but really to find someone stupid enough to pick a fight with me. Then it happened, the tears. how utterly pathetic. So i stood in the cold, nothing but tears and pain and a smoke. I dropped the smoke, saw a bus moving fast toward me. Being in a distressed state I began to walk out infront of it, get myself away from all of ths crap, but before I could a voice behind me in a low and croaky tone uttered “Got a spare cigarette mate ?”. So it went that a homeless man saved me from myself, we sat, and talked, I told him all of my problems, and he helped me. The most memorable statement from him went something like “You think you’ve got it hard, look at everyone else first, you’re an idiot if you will let that bring you down. We are here for a reason, there are many theories but only one reason, and we all have to figure that out. You make life what you want it to be. Look at me. I’ve got nothing; no money, no car, no house, no job, few friends, no partner to love me, in simple, I only got myself. but i’ll take what life throws at me cause i’m content with myself, and this world. Shit happens, you’ve just gotta take, shovel it on, and keep moving foward and never give up on yourself”
He was right about everything he had told me in the 30 minutes we talked, I offered him money, but he refused it and instead took 3 smokes. I’m still in awe how he was so content with everything, but i guess some people are stronger than others. i’m glad he stopped me from the bus, and helped me.